Every Body Looking: List 1

Mama’s thigh moves
side to side
the way it does when she is giddy
or telling a story

Mama fidgets
in my passenger seat
more on edge than me
maybe cause it’s been
like five years since we’ve seen
each other but she is here

scoffs under her breath
thinking, just like her
this hoopty is proof
of yet another thing
I don’t need

been one of few specks
of dingy brown
in a sea of perfect white

thanks, Dad
I smile back, bashful
warm under the way

he looks at me

now at the end of a long day
under the football field sun with beads of sweat
faithfully dabbed across his widow’s peak

by an old white cloth always tucked
in his back pocket basking in the praise
of his job well done

his new wife looks and sucks her teeth
upstairs, one of the first, down here the last
my baby brother off playing and oblivious

When the first Sunday away came around
I learned there was a shuttle
and the shuttle was for anyone
who wanted to

remember their religion
cause ain’t no reason you gotta
backslide just cause you’re in college

To get inside
after making the pilgrimage
through the parking lot we enter
the two doors that open themselves

the whole flock shines in collective yes

The pastor rises to lead
the choir in the pre-tithing selection
before he asks the congregation for
ten percent of their earnings

Dad clears his throat
lifts his head from prayer
this man of unyielding faith

oh, and this is my roommate
y’all don’t be rude,
an instruction given with a twist
of her body making coy eye contact
with each boy now in her immediate vicinity

oh, and this is my roommate
y’all don’t be rude,
an instruction given with a twist
of her body making coy eye contact
with each boy now in her immediate vicinity

Aunty’s pidgin English
is so cool

the scent clinging to me too fishy and
rank // the kind of scent // they say to look out for

I specifically asked for small cornrows like
I’d seen Alicia Keys wearing on the red carpet

her soft and kinky curls cascading in perfect lines
flawless tight braids parted and woven back with beads on the ends

on the red carpet she had been the most glamorous tomboy
I had ever seen, donning tight jeans a leather jacket and sneakers

Aunty oblivious, did not catch the vision
her hands twisting and weaving my coarse strands into

thick plaits clad with heavy grease was not the plan, when she finished
I counted six horrendous things parted down the middle

Aunty oblivious, did not catch the vision
her hands twisting and weaving my coarse strands into

thick plaits clad with heavy grease was not the plan, when she finished
I counted six horrendous things parted down the middle

she shifts her body in the chair
but keeps her eyes locked on
mine, her smirking turning to
full-blown smile then ugly laugh

bury my face
in a pillow
soak it
with hot tears
and muffled scream

An hour later I rise
from a heavy sleep, drenched
in the stink and wet of sweat
dressed in sad fatigue

I technically can’t be late to anything yet
cause class doesn’t start
until next week so I figure
I can wander this building
where the smells of the cafeteria
rise above it

On the walls of a college campus
you can find flyers to:
get your hair done just as good as in a salon
join weird clubs that are a safe space
try out for a team that wins
protest this fascist administration

my body, having heard this demand before

begins to kick from its bottom
begins its convulsions
begins its ritual