The Testaments: Parts IX–XII

In addition, I believe he enjoys our little tête-à-têtes, for reasons that are complex and perverse.

“What seems to be the malady?”
“It is not clear,” he said. It never is. “An affliction of the inner organs.”

“What in fact transpired?” I already knew the answer, but had no intention of sharing it.

It may even have been one of those random drug-related killings so prevalent in that decadent society.

“Well, you asked us to be on the lookout for Baby Nicole. The couple running The Clothes Hound had a daughter who would be about the right age.”
“That is an interesting speculation,” I’d said.

We pen-wielders must take care to avoid reproach.

Use your hand, attempt to clean your sullied fingers under the dribble of water that sometimes came out of the taps and sometimes did not.

I could picture the glee on the face of whatever kitten-torturing cretin was assigned this task as he flipped the power switch on the water flow system back and forth.

During my daydreams—and we all daydreamed, as enforced stasis with no events produces daydreams and the brain must busy itself with something—I frequently pictured a beautiful, clean, white toilet.

The same man in a black uniform exhorting into a microphone: God will prevail!

It’s foolish to joke with those who have absolute control over you. They don’t like it; they think you don’t appreciate the full extent of their power. Now that I have power myself, I do not encourage flippancy among subordinates.

It was not quite a cowl and it was not quite made of brown sackcloth, but close.

Death by stoning was not a fate anyone wanted for their children, and the stain of it on a family could be next to indelible.

“It is her age,” said Aunt Gabbana. “Even formerly sweet and tractable girls go through this stage.”

None of them had a dominating personality, which was why they had been relegated to these relatively menial duties; so even though all Aunts had high status, Paula—who did have a dominating personality—was able to boss the wedding-brigade Aunts around, within limits.

I did as I was told, and the three Aunts were introduced: Aunt Lorna, plump-faced and smiling; Aunt Sara Lee, stoop-shouldered and taciturn; and Aunt Betty, dithery and apologetic.

I did as I was told, and the three Aunts were introduced: Aunt Lorna, plump-faced and smiling; Aunt Sara Lee, stoop-shouldered and taciturn; and Aunt Betty, dithery and apologetic.

Therefore we learned how to poach an egg properly, and at what temperature a quiche ought to be served, and the difference between a bisque and a potage.

She looked at us sideways, down her long patrician nose.

I was telling you about my seclusion in the Thank Tank and the luxurious experience in the hotel room that followed. It was like a recipe for tough steak: hammer it with a mallet, then marinate and tenderize.

My white-bearded interlocutor from the time before was there, not behind a desk this time but seated comfortably in an armchair.

“Only one,” I said fatuously. “I was very young.”

I will lie neglected in some spidery corner or under a bed while you go off to picnics and dances—yes, dancing will return, it’s hard to suppress it forever—or to trysts with a warm body, so much more attractive than the wad of crumbling paper I will have become.

But loyalty to a higher truth is not treason, for the ways of God are not the ways of man, and they are most emphatically not the ways of woman.

We believe that you, with your privileged training, are well qualified to aid us in ameliorating the distressing lot of women that has been caused by the decadent and corrupt society we are now abolishing.

She was plump at that time, though she has dwindled since; one of her former jobs had been with a lucrative weight-loss company, she told us. That was before she’d segued into PR work for a high-fashion lingerie company and had acquired an extensive shoe collection.

For those concepts he approved, he took the credit. Plaudits flowed his way from the other Commanders. How well he was doing!

What good is it to throw yourself in front of a steamroller out of moral principles and then be crushed flat like a sock emptied of its foot? Better to fade into the crowd, the piously praising, unctuous, hate-mongering crowd.

I will record here that, some years later—after I had tightened my grip over Ardua Hall and had leveraged it to acquire the extensive though silent power in Gilead that I now enjoy—Commander Judd, sensing that the balance had shifted, sought to propitiate me. “I hope you have forgiven me, Aunt Lydia,” he said.

“For what, Commander Judd?” I asked in my most affable tone.

“The stringent measures I was forced to take at the outset of our association,” he said. “In order to separate the wheat from the chaff.”

If I hadn’t been so keenly aware of his preference for barely nubile young women, I’d have thought he was flirting.

I plucked a scrap from the grab bag of the vanished past: “To err is human, to forgive divine. As someone once remarked.”
“You are so erudite.”

Last evening, after I’d finished writing, had tucked my manuscript away in the hollow cavern within Cardinal Newman, and was on my way to the Schlafly Café, I was accosted on the pathway by Aunt Vidala.

As for the offerings, such manifestations on the part of others are beyond my control.

I cannot prevent unknown persons from leaving tokens of affection and respect, of loyalty and thanks, such as baked goods and fruit items, at the feet of my effigy.

It would be a pity to give up the oranges, I reflected: they are intermittent, given the undependable supply lines.

I always offer Aunt Vidala a warm milk at my expense, which displays my generosity—milk not being a part of our common rations, but an elective, paid for with the tokens we are given according to our status. She always declines irascibly.

“They didn’t appear to have total access to the inner workings of the Eyes,” said Elijah. “So whoever they are, they aren’t top of the food chain. A lesser functionary, we are guessing. But risking their life.”

“After the Pearl Girls scoop you, Garth can’t go along. But they’ll coddle you like an egg. You’ll be one more precious Pearl on their string.”