"Hapworth 16, 1924" by J.D. Salinger

Three unpublished short stories by J.D. Salinger leaked on to the internet over the Thanksgiving weekend. While it remains to be seen when and if those stories will see the legal light of day, their appearance called to mind Salinger's last published short story, which takes the form of the world's longest, most belligerent and possibly saddest letter home from camp ever. Originally published in "The New Yorker," June 19, 1965.
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Full list of words from this list:

words only definitions & notes
  1. persiflage
    light teasing
    We sometimes exchange little persiflages at her desk or while we are stepping over to the card catalogues, but they are very false persiflages, quite without decent bowels.
  2. picayune
    small and of little importance
    Most of them appear slated to go through their entire lives, from birth to dusty death, with picayune, stunted attitudes towards everything in the universe and beyond.
  3. wont
    an established custom
    My own first name “Seymour” was quite a gigantic, innocent mistake, for some attractive diminutive like “Chuck” or even “Tip” or “Connie” might have been more comfortable for adults and teachers wont to address me in casual conversation; so I have some acquaintance with this petty problem.
  4. patrician
    a person of refined upbringing and manners
    However, for a young, attractive, bitter, lonely mother with all the municipal advantages of swanky, patrician, facial features, great monetary wealth, unlimited entrée, and bejewelled fingers to show this kind of social disappointment in full view of her young son, a callow child already cursed with a nervous and lonely bladder, is fairly inexcusable and hopeless.
  5. callow
    young and inexperienced
    However, for a young, attractive, bitter, lonely mother with all the municipal advantages of swanky, patrician, facial features, great monetary wealth, unlimited entrée, and bejewelled fingers to show this kind of social disappointment in full view of her young son, a callow child already cursed with a nervous and lonely bladder, is fairly inexcusable and hopeless.
  6. ravishing
    stunningly beautiful
    I leave it to your own fine and dear judgment, Bessie and Les, whether to allow the younger children to get wind of this, but if perfect frankness is to pass between parent and child as freely by mail as in loving person, which is the relationship I have striven for during my entire life with increasing slight success, then I must admit, in all joviality, to moments when this cute, ravishing girl, Mrs. Happy, unwittingly rouses all my unlimited sensuality.
  7. boon
    something that is desirable, favorable, or beneficial
    The problem of Mrs. Happy will pass into oblivion as the summer draws to a close, but it would be a great boon, dear Les, if you would recognize that we share your heritage of sensuality, including the telltale ridge of carnality just below your own heavy, sensual, bottom lip, as does our own marvellous, youthful brother, the splendid Walter F. Glass, young Beatrice and Waker Glass, those sterling personages, being comparatively free of the telltale ridge in question.
  8. reproof
    an act or expression of criticism and censure
    As his beloved parents, you may not humanly be expected to lighten his load, but you must not, I beg you, deliberately throw weights of reproof on his little back.
  9. kowtow
    bend the knees and bow in a servile manner
    The kowtowing and artificial laughing on Mr. Happy’s part was beyond earthly description.
  10. emollient
    having a softening or soothing effect especially to the skin
    Also, much of my news and general communication promises to be very absorbing, delightful, and emollient.
  11. termagant
    a scolding, nagging, bad-tempered woman
    Here is the entire crappy incident in a nut shell, as follows: Mr. Nelson, a born neophile and enthusiastic talebearer and gossip, is in utter charge of the mess hall, as already related, along with Mrs. Nelson, a termagant, unhappy woman, and inspired trouble maker.
  12. hapless
    unfortunate and deserving pity
    Thank God for the avoidance of shame and embarrassment to the whole family, I had no decent weapon on my person when this revolting, crappy remark was made; however, quite afterwards, I embraced an opportunity to tell Roger Pittman, the full name his hapless parents gave him, that I would kill him or myself, possibly before nightfall, if he spoke to this chap again in that manner, or any other five-year-old chap, in my presence.
  13. rudiments
    a statement of fundamental facts or principles
    If you could possibly write a short, amiable, crisp letter, dear Les, if I may address you personally, advising him that if one knows even the very rudiments of sensible breathing, ten hours of sleep is sheer folly and imposition.
  14. chagrin
    strong feelings of embarrassment
    Each night, to our entertainment and equal chagrin, I put untold quantities of iodine on his stubborn, funny body, mutilated from the blackberry thorns and other damnable outgrowths.
  15. acumen
    shrewdness shown by keen insight
    It is an indescribable reward to see a person five years of age sit back on his dear, comical, fleshless haunches and dash off an engaging yarn with zest and no little acumen!
  16. inimical
    tending to obstruct or cause harm
    I tell you now, this very moment, to please tuck away someplace utterly unmelancholy in your memory against a rainy day, that until the hour we finish our lives there will always be innumerable chaps who get very seething, and thoroughly inimical even when they see our bare faces alone coming over the horizon.
  17. indomitable
    impossible to subdue
    Have you ever personally seen two such maddening, indomitable chaps as your absent sons?
  18. rectitude
    righteousness as a consequence of being honorable and honest
    With just a little steadfast devotion to uncommon beauty and passing rectitudes of the heart, combined with our dead certainty that we are as normal and human as anybody else, and knowing it is not just a question of sticking out our tongues, like other boys, during the first, beautiful snowfall of the year, who can prevent us from doing a little good in this appearance?
  19. corpulent
    excessively large
    He, this corpulent man, will not too seriously change the regular, normal course of our childhood and early, amusing youth by this business offer, but I can assure you that the surface upheaval will be quite enormous.
  20. bereft
    lacking or deprived of something
    The other half presents a stunning glimpse of Buddy, at a later date by innumerable years, quite bereft of my dubious, loving company, writing about this very party on a very large, jet-black, very moving, gorgeous typewriter.
  21. risible
    arousing or provoking laughter
    Although, from my point of view entirely, it was a risible situation from the word go.
  22. carnal
    of or relating to the body or flesh
    In the past, I personally never reached out to Charlotte in a carnal manner; however, in retrospect, her attractions are quite a damned pleasant surprise.
  23. vainglorious
    feeling self-importance
    Moving rapidly along, kindly send any unflinching book on the World War, in its shameful, exploitive entirety, preferably unwritten by vainglorious or nostalgic veterans or enterprising journalists of slight ability or conscience.
  24. ostentatious
    intended to attract notice and impress others
    You will recall, quite with my undying, humorous sympathy, that at least three of your children, in sheer independence of each other, and utterly untaught, have picked up the delicate custom of spinning the body around with alarming speed, after which regrettably ostentatious experience the person who does the whirling can often, though not always, by any means, arrive at a decision or an impressive answer to a problem, usually quite small.
  25. carte blanche
    complete freedom or authority to act
    Recall quite fervently that I have felt equipped to love Your astonishing, noble Son, Jesus Christ, on the acceptable basis that you did not play favorites with Him or give Him carte blanche throughout his appearance!
Created on Thu Nov 28 18:59:21 EST 2013 (updated Tue Apr 09 14:27:11 EDT 2019)

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