In the Country We Love: Chapters 4-6

by Diane Guerrero, Michelle Burford
In this memoir that led to an appointment as a Presidential Ambassador for Citizenship and Naturalization, the actor recounts how the undocumented status and deportation of her Colombian parents and older brother affected her upbringing in Boston.

Here are links to our lists for the book: Introduction–Chapter 3, Chapters 4–6, Chapters 7–10, Chapters 11–15, Chapter 16–Afterword
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Full list of words from this list:

words only definitions & notes
  1. rosary
    a series of prayers counted using a string of beads
    My parents raised me Catholic. Like most Colombians, Mami and Papi had been brought up in that faith and were intent on passing the traditions to me: Sunday school and Mass every week. The Rosary. The holy water. The Ten Commandments. Confession.
  2. precarious
    not secure; beset with difficulties
    No matter how heated the arguments got, no matter how precarious my family’s situation seemed, I could always light a candle or review the catechism.
  3. catechism
    an elementary book summarizing the principles of a religion
    No matter how heated the arguments got, no matter how precarious my family’s situation seemed, I could always light a candle or review the catechism. I was convinced Catholicism was the answer to every problem, the one sure way to bring good things into your life.
  4. parish
    a local church community
    Gabriela, Sabrina, and Dana all went to my parish, Sacred Heart, which made showing up to parish all the sweeter.
  5. repent
    feel sorry for; be contrite about
    Like Santa Claus, He knew who’d been naughty and who’d been nice, and He kept a record of it. Anyone who consistently disobeyed His commands and refused to repent would end up in hell.
  6. dole
    bestow, as in small portions
    If I, say, rolled my eyes at my teacher, I’d rush home, lock the bathroom door, cry, and then slap myself or pull my hair. It was my way of doling out punishment on myself before God could step in and do it.
  7. demeanor
    the way a person behaves toward other people
    “We’ll get through this,” he kept saying. But his eyes and demeanor betrayed him. With every fiber in me, I knew he was as terrified as I was—maybe even more.
  8. fathom
    come to understand
    I’d never even fathomed the idea of a life away from Boston.
  9. nicety
    conformity with some standard of correctness or propriety
    This wasn’t the time for politeness or niceties.
  10. resent
    feel bitter or indignant about
    No way was I going with Mami, and as one week stretched into three and she kept pressing me about that during our phone calls, I resented her for even proposing that I leave the States.
  11. livid
    furiously angry
    Papi was so livid that, on a couple of occasions, he came close to socking Eric in the face.
  12. hindsight
    understanding the nature of an event after it has happened
    In hindsight, I now understand where Mami’s hopefulness stemmed from.
  13. rampant
    occurring or increasing in an unrestrained way
    Danger and poverty and violence were still rampant there, but she was buffered from it when she initially returned.
  14. buffer
    protect from impact
    Danger and poverty and violence were still rampant there, but she was buffered from it when she initially returned.
  15. nostalgic
    unhappy about being away and longing for familiar things
    People were throwing parties for her. She was reconnecting with old acquaintances. The love was flowing. And she was feeling nostalgic.
  16. contingency
    a possible event or occurrence or result
    No one had prepared me for this. I’d always known there was a possibility that one or both of my parents would be taken, but what was the contingency plan?
  17. fatigues
    military uniform worn by personnel when doing menial labor
    I’d imagined she’d be undercover, maybe in a hat and glasses or army fatigues.
  18. dingy
    thickly covered with ingrained dirt or soot
    So we rented the little dingy basement apartment of Olivia, a friend we’d known for years.
  19. egregious
    conspicuously and outrageously bad or reprehensible
    I’d apparently done something so egregious, so unforgivable, that no round of Hail Marys had been sufficient to block her recapture.
  20. tidings
    information about recent and important events
    I have no idea whether she told Papi she was coming; if she did, he certainly didn’t pass along the good tidings.
  21. funk
    a state of nervous depression
    And within days of Mami’s return, Papi’s funk began gradually lifting.
  22. charter
    a document creating an institution and specifying its rights
    “What about a charter or private school?” she had suggested.
  23. misdemeanor
    a crime less serious than a felony
    Without the protection of her sponsorship, Eric’s “misdemeanor” was grounds for his automatic deportation; in immigration law, stalking is considered a felony.
  24. scrawl
    write carelessly
    Days after he scrawled his signature on that plea, Eric was shackled, put into a detention center, and shipped back to Colombia.
  25. disenchanted
    disappointed or let down
    I was heartbroken that my big brother had become so disenchanted with his life here. That he’d grown up not knowing his own father. That he always felt like the odd child out in our family. That even once he turned himself around in New Jersey, hard luck knocked him to his knees.
  26. indiscretion
    a petty misdeed
    I was also sad about some of his choices, like getting caught up with a rowdy crowd. When you’re undocumented in the United States, you don’t get a pass under the heading of “youthful indiscretion.”
  27. falter
    be or become weak, unsteady, or uncertain
    But like all of us, he’s human. He faltered. And, instead of his mistakes bringing him a slap on the wrist, they cost him his opportunity for citizenship.
  28. installment
    a payment of part of a debt
    When they could, they’d double up on the installments so they could speed up the application.
  29. emasculate
    deprive of strength or vigor
    He simply could not believe he’d been taken advantage of in this way—and especially in front of his little girl. So emasculating. What kind of hope could he offer his family? His daughter?
  30. sullen
    showing a brooding ill humor
    Mami sat stone-faced and sullen, as if there’d been a death, and in a way, there had been.
  31. back burner
    reduced priority
    But then, when I was about to give her details of the audition, the phone rang—it was about my brother—and my excitement took a back burner.
  32. amok
    wildly; without self-control
    We ran amok.
  33. diaphragm
    a muscular partition in the chest used in respiration
    I felt like I was outside of my body, watching my own audition from the audience and saying “Relax, damn it! Breathe! Use your diaphragm!”
  34. emulate
    approach or reach equality with
    It was a well-rounded program designed to emulate college courses and discussion.
  35. discrepancy
    a difference between conflicting facts or claims or opinions
    It created an understanding of our socioeconomic status and the discrepancy in opportunity with our white privileged counterparts in Newton and Wellesley.
  36. complement
    make perfect or supply what is wanting
    In music class, I’d take that a step further by researching the music that complemented what I was learning in my other classes.
  37. assume
    take to be the case or to be true
    Teachers mentioned college as if they assumed we’d one day enroll.
  38. clairvoyant
    perceiving things beyond the natural range of the senses
    Amelia was known to be clairvoyant and often could feel things...supernatural things.
  39. bodega
    small shop selling groceries, especially in a Hispanic area
    On Papi’s way home from the factory later that week, he stopped at a bodega to pick up a couple of items; as the cashier rang him up, he asked, “How about a Powerball ticket, sir?”
  40. turmoil
    violent agitation
    After so many months of turmoil, it was nice to see him smiling again.
Created on Thu Sep 05 09:29:07 EDT 2024 (updated Thu Sep 05 17:05:10 EDT 2024)

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