Iveliz Explains It All: List 2

by Andrea Beatriz Arango
Unable to share her troubled feelings with anyone, twelve-year-old Iveliz Margarita Snow Medina addresses her journal in poems that describe her life in Maryland.

This list covers "Payback"–"Panic Attack."

Here are links to our lists for the novel: List 1, List 2, List 3
30 words 95 learners

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Full list of words from this list:

words only definitions & notes
  1. ponder
    reflect deeply on a subject
    Mami taught me that saying,
    and I ponder it that night
    as I plan out my revenge.
  2. scowl
    frown with displeasure
    And I wanna scowl and tell her
    how she never LISTENS,
    and just because I got in trouble at school
    once (twice)
    doesn’t mean it’s all on me.
  3. issue
    an important question that is in dispute and must be settled
    Anyone else would get it,
    would read the room.
    But Mami? This is always our issue.
    She never knows when to stop.
  4. ramble
    continue talking or writing in a purposeless manner
    He corners me Thursday at lunch.
    Rambling on about promises,
    and futures,
    all HOW COULD I
    and trust.
  5. gratitude
    a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation
    Instead of gratitude, she rumbles.
  6. glare
    look at with a fixed or angry gaze
    Mami slaps it out of my hand
    and I glare at her
  7. irk
    irritate or vex
    And what irks me about her question is not the
    what’s wrong,
    but the implication that I am acting in some way
    that is different, that is abnormal,
    that is so far away from who I need to be
    as Mami’s daughter
  8. implication
    a meaning that is not expressly stated but can be inferred
    And what irks me about her question is not the
    what’s wrong,
    but the implication that I am acting in some way
    that is different, that is abnormal,
    that is so far away from who I need to be
    as Mami’s daughter
  9. shard
    a broken piece of a brittle artifact
    all I can feel are shards of glass that are not there
    making me bleed invisible drops
  10. hallucination
    illusory perception
    Have you ever felt like you’re somewhere else, even when your feet are planted firmly in the now? Something not quite like déjà vu and not quite like a nightmare, but something with visions and feelings and sound? I know the word is “flashback” and not “hallucinations.”
  11. impression
    a vague idea in which some confidence is placed
    She seems to be under the impression, he continues,
    that you’re getting into quite a bit of trouble at school.
  12. wisp
    a thin tuft, piece, or amount of something
    I count the yellow wisps of dust
    floating in front of the window,
    until my fingers slowly start to feel mine.
  13. cope
    come to terms with
    Don’t listen when he says you’re not there to be fixed, you’re only there to learn “healthy coping skills.”
  14. rummage
    search haphazardly
    And I’m listening, sort of,
    Journal, I really am,
    but when I see Akiko walking toward us,
    lunchbox in hand
    and mouth stretched in a frown,
    my face gets hot and I clench Amir’s hand,
    pretend to rummage through my backpack for something
    anything
    to avoid a fight.
  15. assume
    take to be the case or to be true
    It feels like all my teachers are against me,
    assuming I’m playing
    faking
    when I say I don’t understand
  16. tend
    have care of or look after
    I can find her tending the deep planter tubs
    every day after school
  17. crease
    a slight indentation in the smoothness of a surface
    This morning I pull out the list,
    smoothing the creases like
    it’s been no time at all.
  18. residential
    of or relating to the act of dwelling in a place
    But what if I get sent away?
    I ask.
    Like to one of those residential places
    for kids who need help?
  19. inspiration
    the act of arousing to a particular emotion or action
    I don’t even know why I’m
    still keeping goals
    when the original inspiration
    (new grade, new start)
    is clearly already a flop.
  20. compliment
    a remark expressing praise and admiration
    So I smile too,
    because joking is what kids do,
    and I tell her that I like her perfume.
    ’Cause compliments are good for getting people
    to like you, I think
  21. self-conscious
    excessively aware of your appearance or behavior
    I smile at Mimi’s accent,
    a small gift I rarely ever find,
    because Mimi can understand a lot of English,
    but she always says she’s too self-conscious
    to speak it out loud.
  22. douse
    wet thoroughly
    One fluffy stack doused in maple syrup later
    and she cracks.
  23. transition
    a change from one place or state or subject to another
    Dr. Turnip wants to talk about Mimi,
    about her Alzheimer’s,
    about “transitions,”
    about my life.
  24. fidget
    a feeling of agitation expressed in continual motion
    But when I grab my rainbow fidget toy
    and sit on his couch,
    that’s not really what comes out.
  25. valid
    well grounded in logic or truth or having legal force
    But there are medicines to help
    with other things
    just as valid as Mimi’s disease.
  26. advocate
    a person who pleads for a person, cause, or idea
    Maybe you should talk to your mom about it,
    he says,
    maybe your mom could help you be a good advocate,
    help with Mimi and you.
  27. session
    a meeting devoted to a particular activity
    On the drive home,
    Mami asks how my session went.
  28. strain
    separate by passing through a sieve to sort out elements
    So I use my favorite shampoo,
    the one with papaya,
    then head over to Mimi
    and her spiky aloe vera leaf,
    which she slices and strains
    until it’s a goopy green.
  29. expanse
    a wide scope
    I can tell one is coming
    after I check all the rooms,
    but I still run out the front door
    and down the stairs
    like breathing isn’t heavy,
    like tears aren’t already streaming down my face,
    like the whole expanse of my vision isn’t
    slowly shrinking into
    nothing
  30. stumble
    walk unsteadily
    And when I stumble down,
    and Amir yells out,
    I can’t explain what’s wrong
    because it’s all too much
    and I can’t move my mouth.
Created on Sat Jan 06 15:16:48 EST 2024 (updated Sun Jan 07 10:59:03 EST 2024)

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