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American Panda: Chapters 20–28

College freshman Mei struggles to live up to her parents high expectations and figure out what kind of future she truly wants.

Here are links to our lists for the novel: Chapters 1–6, Chapters 7–11, Chapters 12–19, Chapters 20–28
40 words 97 learners

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Full list of words from this list:

  1. lobotomy
    surgery on nerves to and from the frontal lobe of the brain
    But then when I thought about making up with them, the hole in my chest closed as a cavity opened in my brain, a partial lobotomy. I couldn’t go through life as a shadow. If I gave in to them, I’d lose myself.
  2. delicacy
    the quality of being exquisitely fine in appearance
    “Yes. Same bone structure and delicacy. Your features are obviously from your father, but your base is so clearly her.”
  3. brusque
    rudely abrupt or blunt in speech or manner
    My lips hardened into a line and I acknowledged her condolences with a brusque nod.
  4. languidly
    in a lethargic manner
    As the puff of fog drifted languidly, I wished I could float away with it and leave everything behind.
  5. haughty
    having or showing arrogant superiority
    He laughed, a little mocking and a lot haughty.
  6. dapper
    marked by up-to-dateness in dress and manners
    Xing stood at the front, dapper in his black suit and red pocket square.
  7. fathom
    come to understand
    His eyes glowed as if he had seen an angel. How could anyone oppose this union? Staring at him in that moment, I couldn’t fathom a world in which Xing had chosen our parents over Esther.
  8. unyielding
    stubbornly unwilling to give in
    I thought about my mom and dad’s relationship. A lifetime of arguments, a lack of affection, no communication. Stifled by the predetermined husband, wife, and in-law roles, the unyielding expectations.
  9. repercussion
    a remote or indirect consequence of some action
    I was finally ready to be a part of today. Ready to enjoy my brother’s happiness. Ready to accept whatever repercussions arose from my attendance.
  10. ruse
    a deceptive maneuver, especially to avoid capture
    I wanted to stand and announce it was just a ruse to stop the wedding. That this wasn’t even the first time Yilong had accused a family member of murdering one of her parents.
  11. iota
    a tiny or scarcely detectable amount
    During Esther’s vows, I stared at the resolve in Xing’s eyes. He was completely sure, not an iota of doubt.
  12. dais
    a platform raised above the surrounding level
    A red wall displaying golden phoenix and dragon statues served as the backdrop, and in front, on a dais, sat a sweetheart table for the bride and groom, most likely to downplay my parents’ absence.
  13. respectively
    in the order given
    In the center, between candles, a paper snake and rabbit—Xing and Esther’s zodiac animals, respectively—stared back at me.
  14. abalone
    a large edible marine gastropod with an ear-shaped shell
    Darren and I loaded up on abalone in black bean sauce, stir-fried lobster, and pork fried rice—the safest options.
  15. discordant
    lacking in harmony
    The guests chanted amid the chiming of bells, and the discordant sounds mixed to become, somehow, concordant.
  16. dissonant
    lacking in harmony
    Someone wailed in Chinese, “Huílái ba,” over and over, trying to guide Năinai’s soul home. The dissonant phrase, louder, longer, and more urgent than the chanting, broke through my thoughts and returned me to the present.
  17. impecunious
    not having enough money to pay for necessities
    The room hushed, and the guests filed out the open door into the courtyard to burn paper clothes, mansions, and furniture for Năinai to have in the afterlife. If an insufficient amount was burned, Năinai’s impecunious soul would haunt her family and friends’ dreams in revenge, complaining of hunger and cold.
  18. moot
    of no legal significance, as having been previously decided
    “So is this all over now? She’s pregnant. Your one objection is moot. And it’s even a boy. The Lu family line will indeed carry on.”
  19. serrated
    notched like a saw with teeth pointing toward the apex
    I closed my eyes, and when I spoke, my voice was serrated. “You feel like seeing me, your own daughter, is the same as cheating on your husband? This is so messed up..."
  20. backpedal
    reverse or retreat from one's position on an issue
    My mother’s face contorted as if she were tasting a lemon. Before, I would have backpedaled, pulled out the Mandarin to wipe the disapproval away, but now I merely sighed, then looked at her with empathy.
  21. demean
    reduce in worth or character, usually verbally
    Ying-Na can only make money by demeaning herself for laughs.
  22. mosey
    walk leisurely
    She moseyed to the microphone and detached it with experienced hands, like it was a daily routine.
  23. docile
    willing to be taught or led or supervised or directed
    Humor isn’t valued. Every time I made a joke, my father would ask, ‘How’s that going to help you get a husband?’ Because, of course, a docile, quiet, obedient woman is easier to marry off than a funny one full of personality.
  24. spinster
    an elderly unmarried woman
    I turned into the local Chinese community’s cautionary tale: whore, spinster, homeless, whatever that Asian parent’s biggest fear was.
  25. snub
    unusually short
    I guess most men are turned off by my hooded eyes, snub nose, and pan face.
  26. lucrative
    producing a sizeable profit
    “You know, that’s a lucrative business there—matchmaker for the mothers, bouncer for the daughters. Anyone out there interested in investing?”
  27. cliche
    a trite or obvious remark
    You know, it’s cliché, but you really can’t put a price on happiness.
  28. reciprocate
    act, feel, or give mutually or in return
    Outside the restaurant, I wrapped my arms around her. Beneath her winter layers, she relaxed, and then finally, what I had been waiting for, for far too long, she reciprocated. Two petite arms wrapped around my back. Squeezing.
  29. wayward
    resistant to guidance or discipline
    Her wavy hair was frozen with wayward icicles, and they snapped at my biceps like Medusa’s snakes.
  30. straggler
    someone who strays or falls behind
    The class-to-class traffic thinned, leaving just the two of us amid a couple stragglers.
  31. myriad
    a large indefinite number
    I swirled across the linoleum floor in a series of turns, leaps, and waltzes, my shadow dancing on the wall with me, brought to life by the myriad of burning candles lining the perimeter.
  32. enrapture
    hold spellbound
    I didn’t hear Darren come in, but I sensed his presence when I landed, coming out of my turns into a sweeping pose. His shadow was tall and still, as if he were enraptured by my movement.
  33. snide
    expressive of contempt
    I kept her cheesy secret in my back pocket, and it inched toward daylight with every snide comment.
  34. derivative
    the result of mathematical differentiation
    It was a mathematical definition: The opposite of finding the derivative of a function (differentiation) was to integrate it (integration).
  35. inkling
    a slight suggestion or vague understanding
    I ignored my inkling of jealousy...
  36. confinement
    concluding state of pregnancy
    “You’ll be taking a shower over my dead body. If you came to Taichung like I asked, then you would be in a confinement center. We would have splurged for you. Two hundred dollars a day for one month is worth a lifetime of health, is it not? Do you want arthritis?”
  37. arbitrary
    based on or subject to individual discretion or preference
    So Mrs. Wong believed in Chinese fortune-telling, better known as suànmìng—which, literally translated, means to “calculate fate.” A common practice was to use the parents’ birthdays, the current year, and other arbitrary details to calculate the ideal day and time to give birth so that the child would have good luck.
  38. headway
    forward movement
    But eventually, after I had reminded her of her issues with my father, we made headway.
  39. formidable
    inspiring fear or dread
    I had tried to prepare him as best as I could, but how do you describe the tiny, formidable hurricane that is Mămá Lu?
  40. unadulterated
    without qualification
    I smiled at her, a cheek-straining, unadulterated smile I haven’t given her since I was a little kid.
Created on Mon Jan 20 10:01:27 EST 2020 (updated Wed Jan 22 08:55:52 EST 2020)

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