Middlesex: Book Four

The phrase "I thought" emphasizes that the narrator's teenage thinking is very different from his adult perspective. He is not afraid to admit that "my parents found my new urge for purity amusing" ("refined" also means "freed from impurities by processing"). This attitude produced wails from fourteen-year-old Callie, but as forty-one-year-old Cal, the narrator can also laugh at his younger self.

This example sentence reveals an attitude that initially applies only to material possessions, but later motivates Callie to run away from Dr. Luce's recommended treatment of hormone injections and cosmetic surgery.

Cal quotes Callie here. There is a deliberate contrast between the anonymously published writing within Dr. Luce's collected works and the publication of Cal Stephanides' memoir (which is the fictional novel of Jeffrey Eugenides). Callie was deliberately trying to give Dr. Luce what he wanted, so "half the time I wrote like bad George Eliot, the other half like bad Salinger." Cal's purpose is more honest, and he covers the myriad joys and sorrows of his entire family.

The word "intact" is used ironically: the surgery would actually cut away a physical part of Callie, but it would keep intact the image of her as her parents' daughter.

The adjective also means "impressive by reason of age." Both definitions describe the book, but the example sentence already includes "old." Although the ink stains, dried blood, pencil scrawls, and snack crumbs show that the physical body of the dictionary has been abused, its repeated use through the years shows that people honor its contents. This is why Callie looks to it to find out more about herself.

Compare with "ambiguous" in this list. The adjectives are synonymous, and both are used to describe the same subject. But as the example sentences suggest, "ambiguous" is a less formal term that Cal uses in his narration, while "indeterminate" is a more scientific term that Dr. Luce uses in his study of Callie as a genetic male being raised as a female.

As a noun, "defect" means "an imperfection in a bodily system." This definition could've been intended as a pun: Cal defected, because as Callie, he was seen as a defect.

Compare with "obscure" in the list for Book Three. The adjectives can be synonymous. Here, the recently renamed Cal sees that Calliope is no longer evident. Callie used to obscure her face behind her long hair, which contributed to her enigmatic smile. But in an effort to forget the Obscure Object, she has cut her hair and become a more determinate male.

Dysphoria is the opposite of euphoria, and is the same as depression, except on a more intense level. Callie was in a delicate psychological state when she ran away. Life as runaway Cal was difficult and made him want to go home, but it also connected him with people who were similar to him and who accepted him for who he was, and this made him stronger.