Ugly: Chapters 17–21

by Robert Hoge
Born with a large tumor on his face, Hoge survived multiple surgeries — but faced bullying and cruelty because of his atypical appearance. In this memoir, Hoge recounts how he learned to embrace his differences.

Here are links to our lists for the memoir: Introduction–Chapter 4, Chapters 5–9, Chapters 10–13, Chapters 14–16, Chapters 17–21
35 words 90 learners

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Full list of words from this list:

words only definitions & notes
  1. orthodontist
    a dentist specializing in irregularities of the teeth
    I still had plenty of medical appointments. There was the orthodontist to see, and I needed new legs made every nine months or so as I outgrew them.
  2. technicality
    a detail that is considered insignificant
    Somehow I’d fancied myself getting an entry in the Guinness Book of World Records someday. “Largest hospital file on record: Mr. Robert Hoge of Brisbane, Australia, with a file two thousand pages long and weighing in at eleven pounds.” Then I was robbed by a technicality.
  3. vague
    lacking clarity or distinctness
    I was left with vague memories of the cold smell of antiseptic and ammonia, and bright surgery lights burning into my eyes as I counted backward from ten.
  4. antiseptic
    a substance that destroys harmful microorganisms
    I was left with vague memories of the cold smell of antiseptic and ammonia, and bright surgery lights burning into my eyes as I counted backward from ten.
  5. waver
    pause or hold back in uncertainty or unwillingness
    “Will it hurt?” I asked.
    Mom wavered for a second.
  6. bulbous
    rounded and bulging
    When I looked at my face in the mirror, the first thing I saw was my nose—big and bulbous.
  7. wince
    draw back, as with fear or pain
    Dad stayed with me and winced with my every scream as they tried again and again.
  8. combatant
    someone who fights or is fighting
    I tried to stay out of it, but two of the major combatants sat right behind me and I was quickly dragged in.
  9. scavenge
    collect discarded or refused material
    Dad and I would go to the dump every now and then, and he’d let me scavenge for treasure—junk-hunting by the bay.
  10. objective
    the goal intended to be attained
    The objective of lawn bowls was simple. Players rolled their bowl—a heavy ball you could just barely hold in one hand—so that it ended up as close as possible to a smaller white ball, called the jack. This was slightly complicated by the fact that the bowls were designed to curve as they rolled.
  11. meticulously
    in a manner marked by extreme care of details
    Games were played on a grass field that was meticulously leveled and maintained so bowls could roll smoothly.
  12. fad
    an interest followed with exaggerated zeal
    He was the first kid in the class to be onto a new fad or get a new gadget.
  13. finesse
    subtly skillful handling of a situation
    It felt heavy enough for me to know I could send it down to the other end with force when needed, but light enough that I could deliver it with the finesse it deserved.
  14. stance
    standing posture
    Frank looked me over as I took up my unusual stance.
  15. arc
    a continuous portion of a circle
    Then I swung my left leg in a big arc and planted it almost perpendicular to my right.
  16. hurl
    throw forcefully
    Some listened, but others didn’t care much and just walked up to the mat and hurled the bowl down.
  17. sever
    cut off from a whole
    Mom told him she didn’t want him to sever his ties with the club on my account, but he said he didn’t care.
  18. dubious
    fraught with uncertainty or doubt
    I’m sure there were a few club members still dubious about a skinny disabled kid playing, but the first bowl I sent down that day gently nudged the jack.
  19. pennant
    a flag that is awarded to the winner or champion
    This meant we could be formally recognized by the clubs, play in interclub pennant matches, and compete in regional and statewide competitions.
  20. redouble
    make twice as great or intense
    I went back out there rested, focused, and determined to redouble my efforts.
  21. stationary
    standing still
    It was a good lesson, but I wasn’t the best driver because I delivered the ball stationary.
  22. jeer
    laugh at with contempt and derision
    I’d wanted to be cheered when I got something right and jeered when I didn’t.
  23. concoction
    the act of creating something by compounding or mixing
    My preferred concoction was about three parts water with a little shampoo and a dollop of toothpaste.
  24. dollop
    a soft lump or portion of something, especially food
    My preferred concoction was about three parts water with a little shampoo and a dollop of toothpaste.
  25. sheen
    the visual property of something that shines
    It was the perfect combination. Not too thick, so it still got plenty of distance when squeezed out of the bottle, but tainted enough that if it hit, it stuck, leaving a coconut-smelling sheen topped with a minty-fresh zing.
  26. repercussion
    a remote or indirect consequence of some action
    The teachers’ security council gave a few kids detention and we were all threatened with serious repercussions if the combat continued.
  27. cope
    come to terms with
    “I don’t know how you cope with a nose like that—it’s all big and round and squishy.”
  28. pendulous
    hanging loosely or bending downward
    I colored in his hair, drew on ears and lips, but the nose got special attention—it was giant, pendulous, overpowering.
  29. gape
    be wide open
    I drew gaping nostrils, then held my artistic creation up and smiled.
  30. cavernous
    being or suggesting a large dark enclosed space
    I drew several spaceships entering and leaving his cavernous nostrils, like they were docking at a spaceport.
  31. default
    an option that is selected automatically
    I signed up to do work experience as a teacher. It was the default for a bunch of us.
  32. prospect
    the possibility of future success
    My doctors had discussed it with Mom and Dad, who in turn raised the prospect with me.
  33. enticing
    highly attractive and able to arouse hope or desire
    It all went around in my head for a few weeks: the pain, the risks, the uncertainty, and the awful, enticing thought of blending in.
  34. disquieting
    causing mental discomfort
    An operation to fix my face would mean leaving behind this horrid, bumpy, uneven, unequal, disquieting, disfigured, disturbing face that made me who I am.
  35. disfigure
    mar or spoil the appearance of
    An operation to fix my face would mean leaving behind this horrid, bumpy, uneven, unequal, disquieting, disfigured, disturbing face that made me who I am.
Created on Tue Jan 08 20:55:30 EST 2019 (updated Fri Jan 25 09:28:00 EST 2019)

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