Ugly: Introduction–Chapter 4

by Robert Hoge
Born with a large tumor on his face, Hoge survived multiple surgeries — but faced bullying and cruelty because of his atypical appearance. In this memoir, Hoge recounts how he learned to embrace his differences.

Here are links to our lists for the memoir: Introduction–Chapter 4, Chapters 5–9, Chapters 10–13, Chapters 14–16, Chapters 17–21
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Full list of words from this list:

words only definitions & notes
  1. tumor
    an abnormal new mass of tissue that serves no purpose
    I was born with a massive tumor in the middle of my face and two deformed legs.
  2. wisp
    a thin tuft, piece, or amount of something
    You’ve got just enough time to finish a few special touches, like eyebrows and a wisp of hair on top of the baby’s head.
  3. contraction
    a shortening or tensing of a muscle or organ
    When Mom was admitted, her contractions that signaled the baby was coming were two minutes apart.
  4. induce
    cause to occur rapidly
    The doctors were worried and told my parents they might have to induce labor if the contractions didn’t restart.
  5. ward
    block forming a division of a hospital shared by patients
    Mom was sent to the hospital ward to wait.
  6. jut
    extend out or project in space
    The lump was a massive bulge that jutted out from the top of my forehead and ran all the way down to the tip of where my nose should have been.
  7. mangle
    destroy or injure severely
    Looking down at me, the doctors saw that both my legs were mangled.
  8. prod
    push against gently
    They poked and prodded my body to try to find out if all my internal organs were where they should be.
  9. intensive
    characterized by a heightened level or degree
    Every time she was asked if she wanted to leave the mothers’ ward to go see her baby in intensive care, her answer was the same: no.
  10. splay
    widen or spread apart
    She saw my too widely spread eyes and my splayed nostrils.
  11. desperation
    a state in which all hope is lost or absent
    One day, after a visit, she cried and told her sister in a moment of desperation and honesty, “He is so ugly.”
  12. rational
    consistent with or based on or using reason
    Over the next few weeks, she realized she had to approach the situation more rationally.
  13. mongrel
    an inferior dog or one of mixed breed
    If our house was a dog it would be a rough little mongrel of a thing—not big, not fancy, not pretty. Luckily it was a happy mutt most of the time.
  14. punctuate
    interrupt periodically
    Outside, the yard was an ocean of green grass, punctuated only by a clothesline, a barbecue, a hedge along one fence, and an assortment of fruit trees and vegetable patches.
  15. reluctant
    not eager
    After fighting so long to keep from bringing me home, Mom was reluctant to take me out again once she did.
  16. assumption
    a statement that is held to be true
    Even there, people were ready to make assumptions about me based on how I looked.
  17. cleft
    a split or indentation in something
    A harelip and cleft palate were often related and occurred when a problem during pregnancy meant a baby’s lip and the roof of his or her mouth didn’t join together properly.
  18. palate
    the surface of the mouth separating oral and nasal cavities
    A harelip and cleft palate were often related and occurred when a problem during pregnancy meant a baby’s lip and the roof of his or her mouth didn’t join together properly.
  19. amputate
    remove surgically
    That meant amputating the foot and the bottom of the leg, and fitting me with a prosthesis—an artificial leg.
  20. prosthesis
    a device that replaces a missing part of the body
    That meant amputating the foot and the bottom of the leg, and fitting me with a prosthesis—an artificial leg.
  21. tentative
    hesitant or lacking confidence; unsettled in mind or opinion
    I took a tentative step after she let go of my hands and didn’t fall over.
  22. dread
    fearful expectation or anticipation
    The nun remained still for a moment, then turned with a kind of dread in her eyes.
  23. well-being
    a contented state of happiness, health, and prosperity
    Despite the love of a mother and a father for their son, despite my general health and well-being, I was still ugly.
  24. milestone
    a significant event in your life or in a project
    Fortunately, I met all of my mental-development milestones, and a test showed I was smart enough to make all the effort worthwhile.
  25. crucial
    of the greatest importance
    “The operation is crucial,” one doctor said.
  26. vital
    urgently needed; absolutely necessary
    “It’s vital in ways that go beyond your son’s physical health,” another said.
  27. perception
    the process of becoming aware through the senses
    Without this depth perception I wouldn’t be able to catch a ball and I would forever be walking into walls.
  28. venture
    proceed somewhere despite the risk of possible dangers
    The doctors were worried my face would prove a huge problem when I ventured beyond the safe walls of Fortress Hoge and into the big, wide world.
  29. chaotic
    lacking a visible order or organization
    But the bone structure in a baby’s head is as chaotic as a busy road during peak hour.
  30. cranium
    the part of the skull that encloses the brain
    Slowly and surely the doctors drew their plans to carve up my cranium, move some pieces around, toss away the chunks they didn’t need, and put some new stuff in for good measure.
  31. intricate
    having many complexly arranged elements; elaborate
    The doctors could not be sure how long the intricate surgery would take, but they were expecting it would be up to six hours.
  32. anesthetic
    a drug that causes temporary loss of bodily sensations
    Being put under general anesthetic for so long presents a risk of brain damage.
  33. dispose
    throw or cast away
    Instead of just disposing of the foot, though, the doctors wanted to use cartilage from the toes to build me a new nose.
  34. cartilage
    tough elastic tissue, mostly converted to bone in adults
    Instead of just disposing of the foot, though, the doctors wanted to use cartilage from the toes to build me a new nose.
  35. blackmail
    exert pressure on someone through threats
    Mom wasn’t trying to blackmail Dad. She was just showing him how strongly she believed that the operation was worth the risk.
Created on Tue Jan 08 20:19:03 EST 2019 (updated Fri Jan 25 08:41:08 EST 2019)

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