The Astonishing Color of After: Chapters 22–44

by Emily X.R. Pan
After her mother's death, Leigh travels to Taiwan, where she tries to piece together her family history while also coming to terms with her grief.

Here are links to our lists for the novel: Chapters 1–21, Chapters 22–44, Chapters 45–66, Chapters 67–87, Chapters 88–108
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Full list of words from this list:

words only definitions & notes
  1. bleak
    offering little or no hope
    Without her strange bleakness, it would've been an almost perfect day.
  2. aback
    by surprise
    He looked taken aback.
  3. surrogate
    providing nurture though not related by blood or legal ties
    His own mother had walked out on his family when he was seven. In the course of our friendship, my mom had become something of a surrogate parent to him.
  4. grudgingly
    in a reluctant manner
    "Well, it's still your birthday," he said grudgingly, and I knew I was mostly forgiven.
  5. palette
    a board on which an artist mixes paints
    His Winsor & Newton paint set was a thing of plastic origami, unfolding out into a palette with mixing trays for wings.
  6. muster
    summon up, call forth, or bring together
    She'd mustered enough energy to bake for me; the thought made me feel a little bit better.
  7. buoyant
    characterized by liveliness and lightheartedness
    An arpeggiated synthesizer rose out from under the heavy notes, buoyant and energetic like the rouge strokes used for highlights.
  8. wend
    direct one's course or way
    All these were described through the legato of a cello, a solo clarinet wending its way in and out of a swell of strings, a low timpani, and an ethereal bending pitch later pointed out to me as a theremin.
  9. ethereal
    characterized by unusual lightness and delicacy
    All these were described through the legato of a cello, a solo clarinet wending its way in and out of a swell of strings, a low timpani, and an ethereal bending pitch later pointed out to me as a theremin.
  10. staccato
    marked by or composed of disconnected parts or sounds
    I went back upstairs thinking, Whatever whatever whatever, the syllables bouncing in my head like staccato triplets my mother would pluck from the piano keys.
  11. saunter
    walk leisurely and with no apparent aim
    Leanne Ryan sauntered into our art class asking for his folder.
  12. pretense
    the act of giving a false appearance
    She saw me but didn't smile, just let her eyes slide right off my face. No pretense necessary; no Axel around to witness anything.
  13. androgynous
    having both male and female characteristics
    We made both figures androgynous.
  14. subtle
    difficult to detect or grasp by the mind or analyze
    She points to a tray full of buns shaped like panda heads. "Look how cute these are! The ears must be chocolate. What I love is how pastries like these aren't too sweet. The flavors are more subtle…."
  15. incessantly
    without interruption
    She's been talking incessantly since breakfast this morning, smothering me under her commentary, the cadence of her voice making my temples throb.
  16. cadence
    a recurrent rhythmical series
    She's been talking incessantly since breakfast this morning, smothering me under her commentary, the cadence of her voice making my temples throb.
  17. juxtaposition
    a side-by-side arrangement
    It's a strange juxtaposition: the city so tightly packed, everything built so closely together—and beyond that, the sprawling greens and blues of lush forests.
  18. periphery
    the outside boundary or surface of something
    Eyes aching, the periphery of my vision dull and watery.
  19. rove
    move about aimlessly or without any destination
    My mother, smiling a real smile at my father for the first time in years.
    Quiet and calm and playing Debussy, fingers roving over the keys, making the piano tinkle and shine.
  20. logistical
    of or relating to the management of an operation or event
    I can’t even recall what they were talking about—something logistical, probably, to do with groceries or whatever—but I remember trying to see the love between them, waiting for a spark, or even a faint glow that might be hovering in the air, however dim.
  21. bashful
    self-consciously timid
    “Oh,” she said bashfully. "Most of this was originally my grandfather’s. He got me into it.”
  22. mortified
    made to feel uncomfortable because of shame or wounded pride
    “Papi," Caro pleaded. She looked mortified.
    “What are you so embarrassed about?" said Gaelle.
  23. liberal
    given or giving freely
    "You at least have to try," she said, picking up a tube of paint and squeezing out a liberal amount of orange.
  24. nonchalant
    marked by casual unconcern or indifference
    "When will I get to meet Mom’s parents?” I said, trying to sound nonchalant.
  25. lackluster
    not having brilliance or vitality
    Dad took a few lackluster bites.
  26. throng
    press tightly together or cram
    We’re on our way to a temple, and the dust-colored brick road is thronged with people.
  27. ebb
    fall away or decline
    He catches my eye and winks, and a bit of my tension ebbs.
  28. wispy
    thin and weak
    The wispy smoke hangs in the air like cobwebs.
  29. earnestly
    in a sincere and serious manner
    “Lai,” she says, beckoning earnestly.
  30. manifest
    reveal its presence or make an appearance
    The knock was something I'd imagined—I was certain of it. All the wishful thinking was manifesting in some form of psychosis.
  31. mirth
    great merriment
    Axel barked out a mirthless laugh. "Are you kidding? She hated it. She was into the military look. I’m the reason I’m growing my hair out."
  32. garish
    tastelessly showy
    All morning she wore around this false holiday cheer like a garish sweater.
  33. splice
    join the ends of
    He'd somehow taken his watercolors and spliced them into elements that tiled and tessellated and fit themselves back together again.
  34. tessellate
    fit together exactly, of identical shapes
    He'd somehow taken his watercolors and spliced them into elements that tiled and tessellated and fit themselves back together again.
  35. swathe
    wrap in or as if in strips of cloth
    The same woman in the doorway of her hut, rocking the baby, who is small and unknowing and swathed in rags.
  36. sparse
    not dense or plentiful
    Her job is done best when she turns invisible, blending into the wall, becoming one with the sparse furniture.
  37. iridescent
    having a play of lustrous rainbow colors
    Everything in my brain is glimmering with wonder, with iridescent hues, like the colors pinned by the sun against an oil-slicked surface.
  38. oblivion
    the state of being disregarded or forgotten
    There’s nothing to be seen there, only oblivion made of the blackest black.
  39. preemptive
    designed to prevent an anticipated situation or occurrence
    But the moment I opened someone else's mail, it was snooping. It was trespassing. My body felt orange with preemptive guilt.
  40. frock
    a one-piece garment for a woman; has skirt and bodice
    A photograph. Black-and-white—or more like brown and yellow, for all that time had faded it—and it showed two little girls side by side, peering straight into the camera, unsmiling. Both of them in pale frocks and dark Mary Janes.
Created on Tue Jan 08 14:13:48 EST 2019 (updated Thu Jan 10 11:52:48 EST 2019)

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