We Were Here: May 13–July 9

Here’s the thing: I was probably gonna write a book when I got older anyways. About what it’s like growing up on the levee in Stockton, where every other person you meet has missing teeth or is leaning against a liquor store wall begging for change to buy beer.

Or maybe the book would just be something about me and my brother, Diego. How we hang mostly by ourselves, pulling corroded-looking fish out of the murky levee water and throwing them back.

Matter of fact, she didn’t look at me all the way up till the day she had to drive me to Juvenile Hall, drop me off at the gate, where two big beefy white guards were waiting to escort me into the building.

People are straight-up ignorant, man.

Instead I counted how many cars passed us on the freeway, thinking back on how me and Diego used to flip people off from the back of our old man’s truck when we passed ’em.

We’re like any other group home: we got some positive energy flow and we got some static. While I’m here during the day, before the night watch comes in, it’s my job to build on the positive flow and limit the static. You see what I’m saying, bro?

I cringed when I stood up because my stomach was killing me and I didn’t know why.

It’s a serious adjustment, living with five other guys. Dealing with the social pressures of a group-home environment. Don’t be afraid to lean on me at first.

I shut the bathroom door behind me and rushed the toilet, wrapped my arms around the cold porcelain and heaved.

The guy straight up hawked a loogie right in front of Jaden and spit at me.

Jackson and Rene stepped between us and pulled my hand out of Mong’s grip, and then they both stood there swiveling their heads back and forth between us.

I barely grazed his chin and he acted like he just got shot and collapsed to the damn ground crying.

He didn’t even look at me as I passed by. Like he was in some kind of weird trance or something.

He was wearing short sleeves, the same generic white T-shirt we all had to wear...

Anyways, the old Indian counselor was always telling Mong not to sit on the kitchen table or else it was gonna break. But Mong never listened to him. Then one day the table did break. It cracked down the middle with Mong on it, right in front of the Indian guy. He went off to the office to get his book, wrote out a restitution paper and handed it to Mong.

“Yeah,” Tommy said, “but if they knew how he was really like he wouldn’t even be here. They’d put him in solitary confinement. Or they’d try him as an adult.”

“Yeah,” Tommy said, “but if they knew how he was really like he wouldn’t even be here. They’d put him in solitary confinement. Or they’d try him as an adult.”

And I’m not gonna lie, I sort of panic inside. I can’t catch my breath. Like I’m hyperventilating.

Nah, when it comes to girls, my brother’s lounging on the inside.

Since Jackson left I’ve had my own room, which is crazy mellow.

“Man,” I said, turning back around, “that’s such an inefficient use of space.”

But I don’t read my book outside anymore. It’s not worth the hassle.

It’s mad crazy how just writing letters makes the woman feel better about herself. And the last one’s to everybody, not just God, which is pretty cool. And also symbolic.

Everybody has to call somebody. If you don’t have parents you have to call your grandparents or your foster parents or some relative or family friend.

After Lester waved to us and headed back to his van, Jaden took Rondell’s bag from him and launched into the same spiel he’d given me on my first day—the one he apparently gives every damn person.

I was minding my own business, reading my new book, The Old Man and the Sea, when Rondell strutted in our room, rapping: “I blow from the word go / Yo, check my flow, my show / I make dough while other punks cop fool’s gold.”

Rondell sat there dumbfounded for a sec, and then he said: “Huh?”

Without thinking I bolted upright and swung for his face.

It said what Jaden was talking about before, how current resident sentences would all go full term from now on, and in some cases they could even be extended for consistent misbehavior.

It said with the extra resources they planned to increase the rehabilitation side of the program, including more one-on-one therapy sessions and educational and career counseling.