Flora and Ulysses: Chapter 50–Epilogue

"Those last lines are the only bit of coherence in the whole thing,” said William Spiver.

If her mother hadn’t been acting so strange, Flora would have said something, would have argued more vehemently.

Not only was her voice robotic; she was also saying things that she never would have said before, expressing sentiments that seemed to be at odds with the mother Flora had always known.

She had been pushed to the brink.

Mary Ann was looking at Flora and her mother with a jaded and judgmental eye.

Mary Ann was looking at Flora and her mother with a jaded and judgmental eye.

“It seems to provoke her,” she said. "I think your typing poems and flying around the kitchen kind of made her have a nervous collapse. Or something.”

She sat up and stared in the direction of the door. Slowly the rectangular outline of it appeared, and then she could see that it was ajar.

"In the event of a true and genuine emergency, an absolute and undeniable crime, the authorities must be notified immediately,” said The Criminal Element.

"In the event of a true and genuine emergency, an absolute and undeniable crime, the authorities must be notified immediately,” said The Criminal Element.

Things were pretty grim.

“Although to be perfectly frank, I had trouble navigating the world even before the advent of the blindness..."

“Although to be perfectly frank, I had trouble navigating the world even before the advent of the blindness..."

Flora’s father would have been appalled.

It was alarming and exhilarating to be going so fast.

“In any case,” said William Spiver, “it seems that we are going extremely fast. And we are speeding where, exactly? We don’t know. We are en route to an unknown destination, calling out the name of a missing squirrel all the while. It doesn’t seem one bit rational.”

"We should try to think where your mother would have taken him. We should be logical, methodical, scientific.”

But saying William Spiver’s name over and over had made him appear. This, Flora knew from TERRIBLE THINGS CAN HAPPEN TO YOU!, was magical thinking, or mental causation.

They were in the woods.
He could tell by the smell of pine resin in the trees and the sound of pine needles crunching underfoot.

Also, there was the powerful, extremely pervasive scent of raccoon.

“Great-Aunt Tootie,” said William Spiver, “I am loath, as always, to point out the obvious, but I will do it here and now for the sake of clarity. You are not me. You do not exist behind my traumatized eyeballs. I am telling the truth, my truth. I cannot see.”

"My name is William. William. William Spiver. Not Billy. I was Billy one time too many. I cracked. I pushed Tyrone's truck into the sinkhole, and when my mother found out, she was incandescent with rage. I looked upon her rage, and you know what happened then. I was blinded by disbelief and sorrow."

Flora felt her heart lurch inside of her.

“Well, if you two are going to walk around holding hands,” said Tootie, “I suppose I'll have to be the one who carries this monstrosity of a lamp.”

“Imagine if I had been sleeping, what I would have missed. But then, always and forever, I have been an insomniac. You know what this is? Insomnia?”

“It means I do not sleep. When I was a girl in Blundermeecen, I did not sleep. Who knows why? It could be some existential terror related to the trolls. Or it could be simply because I do not sleep. Sometimes there are no reasons. Often, most of the time, there are no reasons. The world cannot be explained. But I talk too much. I digress. I need to say to you: Why are you here? And where is your Flora Belle?”

“It means I do not sleep. When I was a girl in Blundermeecen, I did not sleep. Who knows why? It could be some existential terror related to the trolls. Or it could be simply because I do not sleep. Sometimes there are no reasons. Often, most of the time, there are no reasons. The world cannot be explained. But I talk too much. I digress. I need to say to you: Why are you here? And where is your Flora Belle?”

There were, she had discovered, all kinds of ridiculous things strewn along the side of a road.

There were metal objects: hubcaps, a pair of rusty scissors, a sparkplug. And there were truly inexplicable things.

“The infamous Mr. Klaus,” said William Spiver.

“Actually,” said William Spiver, “I am her great-nephew. And my name is William Spiver. And I realize that it is early in our acquaintance for me to be revealing such astonishing and deeply personal information, but I must tell you that I was temporarily blind and now I can see! Also, I feel compelled to say that your face is beautiful to me. In fact, every face is beautiful to me.”

“Your face, Flora Belle, is particularly beautiful. Even the sepulchral gloom of this hallway cannot dim your loveliness.”

A distinctly fishy smell emanated from his whiskers.

Who will prevail? Who will be vanquished?

She waded into the fray and whacked Mr. Klaus over the head with Mary Ann.