Dear Martin: January 13 - Chapter 14

Based on the way she’s scowling at him, Jus can’t help but wonder if he’s partially to blame for her tears.

As soon as he thinks enough time has passed for SJ to get off campus, he says goodbye to a stupefied Doc and heads to his dorm room.

“Let’s hit B’s party. You obviously need the distraction.”

Perhaps if Justyce hadn’t downed half the liquid in Manny’s refilled flask on the way to Blake’s house, the wooden lawn jockeys with black skin and big red lips standing guard at the bottom of Blake’s porch steps wouldn’t bother him so much.

Jus: Man, I’m sick of y'all acting like you got all this leeway.

Jared’s scrambling up from the floor with a split lip and a swelling eye, and Blake is on his hands and knees with blood pouring out of his nose and onto the carpet.

Tyler seems to be the only one who got away unscathed...but then Justyce sees him shake out his right hand.

You’re way too sensitive, man.

Justyce trudges up the hill.

Justyce clenches his jaw.

There was some white dude on TV after the Tavarrius Jenkins thing broke talking about how cases like his and Shemar Carson's "deflect from the issue of black-on-black crime," but how are black people supposed to know how to treat each other with respect when since we were brought over here, we've been told we’re not respectable?

I know I did the wrong thing tonight, but right now I can’t find it in me to be remorseful.

I gotta say: I've been reading your sermons and studying your books for six months now, and it feels like all I have to show for it is frustration and a sense of defeat.

Justyce rolls over onto his back and gropes around for his cell phone.

He scrambles from beneath the desk and stands to pull them up, but his head throbs so intensely, he stumbles.

“All of it. I’m sure you’re dehydrated.”

With Doc eyeing him like that, last night floods Jus’s memory, and the ache in his bruised knuckles seems to intensify.

“Ever since my run-in with that cop, I’ve been on high alert. Noticing stuff I would’ve glossed over or tried to ignore before.”

“It’s okay. We’re in your domain. You were saying?”

"Mind if I play devil’s advocate for a sec? Don’t want to dismiss your sentiments, just wanna give you a little perspective.”

"Mind if I play devil’s advocate for a sec? Don’t want to dismiss your sentiments, just wanna give you a little perspective.”

"Mind if I play devil’s advocate for a sec? Don’t want to dismiss your sentiments, just wanna give you a little perspective.”

“That’s what it was like for me at the new school. Everybody saw me as black, even with the light skin and green eyes. The black kids expected me to know all the cultural references and slang, and the white kids expected me to ‘act’ black.

“That’s what it was like for me at the new school. Everybody saw me as black, even with the light skin and green eyes. The black kids expected me to know all the cultural references and slang, and the white kids expected me to ‘act’ black.

When you spend your whole life being ‘accepted’ by white people, it’s easy to ignore history and hard to face stuff that’s still problematic, you feel me?”

“And as for you, the only way you’re gonna thrive is if you’re okay with yourself, man. People are gonna disrespect you, but so what? Guys like Jared don’t have any bearing on how far you get in life. If you know the stuff they’re saying isn’t true, why let it bother you?”

“It’s frustrating, man! When you work hard and earn your way, and people suggest you haven’t and you’re not worthy..."

Throughout my entire PhD candidacy, he was hypercritical of my work.

As he pulls out his notebook to skim the letter he wrote Martin after Blake’s party, he hears the door open and close before the bedsprings squeak.

Manny smiles but then grimaces in pain.

All day Sunday, I sat in my basement, just fuming. I think I listened to Deuce Diggs and played Medal of Honor for like six hours straight.

"Today I overheard an employee refer to me by a racial slur."

"There are still people in that office who refuse to look me in the eye, fellas. They'll show cursory respect for the sake of keeping their jobs, but a good majority of my subordinates resent having to answer to a black man. I was reminded of that today."

"There are still people in that office who refuse to look me in the eye, fellas. They'll show cursory respect for the sake of keeping their jobs, but a good majority of my subordinates resent having to answer to a black man. I was reminded of that today."

"There are still people in that office who refuse to look me in the eye, fellas. They'll show cursory respect for the sake of keeping their jobs, but a good majority of my subordinates resent having to answer to a black man. I was reminded of that today."

Manny was livid.

Justyce is dumbfounded.

“Homeboy’s got no appreciation for a lyrical genius such as Deuce Diggs.”

The guy looks like he’s about to ignite.

“I’m done bending over backwards to appease white people.”