Hole in My Life: Part 2

by Jack Gantos
In a high school surrounded by a twelve-foot fence, Jack Gantos imagined what life behind bars would be like; after graduating, he landed in prison, where he dedicated himself to becoming a writer.

Here are links to our lists for the memoir: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Here are links to our lists for other works by Jack Gantos: Dead End in Norvelt, Joey Pigza Swallowed the Key
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Full list of words from this list:

words only definitions & notes
  1. apparent
    clearly revealed to the mind or the senses or judgment
    Nine out of ten books I looked up were missing. The librarians just shrugged when I mentioned the apparent theft problem.
  2. anarchist
    an advocate of the abolition of governments
    I read a few books about revolutionaries: Che Guevara, Emma Goldman, an odd book titled Mutual Aid by Peter Kropotkin, who was an anarchist, and a book by Alexander Berkman titled ABC of Anarchism.
  3. tension
    feelings of hostility that are not manifest
    I was still trying to find something significant to write about and so, like all those political writers, I realized the only thing for me to do would be to jump right into the middle of the racial tension and use my wits.
  4. quote
    a passage or expression that is cited
    I remembered reading a quote from a newspaper journalist that stuck with me: "Where there is blood, there is ink."
  5. venture
    proceed somewhere despite the risk of possible dangers
    I got my notebook and a pen and ventured down to the Black Revolutionary Party headquarters to see if I could interview any of the leaders.
  6. hostile
    characterized by enmity or ill will
    It wasn't quite like stepping into a military ambush, or being on the front lines in Spain, or witnessing the aftermath of an atomic bomb, but the atmosphere around me was definitely hostile.
  7. advice
    a proposal for an appropriate course of action
    "Then here's some advice," the same man continued, pointing a finger as black as the barrel of a gun at me. "Don't be coming in here as if you can play with the big boys. Revolution is serious business.
  8. incident
    a single distinct event
    But I was so afraid of the incident I ran from it rather than write it down.
  9. proposal
    something suggested, as a plan or assumption
    "We have a proposal to make," Rik said.
  10. glorious
    having great beauty and splendor
    I just saw my exit from the island and entrance to my future, and it was glorious and good and calling me and there was no way I was going to get a better offer in a lifetime of sitting on St. Croix.
  11. earnestly
    in a sincere and serious manner
    "Not a word," I replied earnestly. "I can keep a secret. You can trust me."
  12. destination
    the place designated as the end, as of a race or journey
    If I hadn't been so spellbound by the thought of ten thousand dollars in cash, I would have fled with the rats the moment the rust-colored sails were hoisted, because it was obvious that we didn't so much arrive at our destinations as aim and crash into them like kamikaze yachtsmen.
  13. triumph
    the exultation of victory
    But I was filled with joy and triumph, and the fires to me were the flames of Troy still burning as Odysseus pushed off for Ithaca.
  14. mutiny
    open rebellion against constituted authority
    I had Billy Budd, Martin Eden, Treasure Island, Heart of Darkness, The Odyssey, Robinson Crusoe, and the Mutiny on the Bounty trilogy. I was armed with books the way the navy goes to sea armed to the teeth.
  15. stamina
    enduring strength and energy
    I never would have made a good pirate like Billy Bones or Black Dog. I didn't have the stamina.
  16. drama
    an episode that is turbulent or highly emotional
    We weren't locked in, but there was nowhere to go, and aside from the weather, each day unfolded very much the same. Bright, blinding blue. What changed was the drama on board. Hamilton was insane.
  17. emboss
    raise in a relief
    It was clothbound in green linen, and embossed in gold on the cover was the name of the ship. I set it on the galley table and opened the cover. It was blank.
  18. savage
    a cruel or vicious person
    July 17: Started reading Heart of Darkness. Already thinking that Kurtz is waiting for me in New York along with his gang of savages—and a deep mystery about the evil in the soul of man that I can't solve until I get there.
  19. phony
    a person who professes beliefs that he or she does not hold
    July 30: Of all the sea books I've been reading, the book that has taken me over is Jack London's Martin Eden. Just as Holden Caulfield sees phonies everywhere, those same phonies can't recognize Eden's talent and they run him down.
  20. ignorant
    lacking knowledge of a specific field
    He was a man trying to create greatness, and the phonies were too ignorant to recognize anything beyond their own limitations.
  21. sorrow
    an emotion of great sadness associated with loss
    I do know that there is no reason for me to drown myself from sorrow since I haven't yet tried to achieve anything great.
  22. consciousness
    an alert cognitive state in which you are aware of yourself
    I thought of Jack London not putting a final period on the last sentence of the book as Martin lost consciousness and drifted into death.
  23. sinister
    threatening or foreshadowing evil or tragic developments
    The cadet laughed through the bullhorn, which made him seem as sinister as Poseidon was with Odysseus when he kept foiling his attempts to get home to Ithaca.
  24. bond
    a connection based on kinship or marriage or common interest
    Being scared together created a great bond among boys, and being scared of each other created a great bond in prison.
  25. flee
    run away quickly
    I loved those getting-caught stories, and they were among the first ones I wrote down in my secret prison journal. They had what every story should have: action running like a fleeing suspect across the surface shadowed step for step by big risks and big emotions.
  26. smuggle
    import or export without paying customs duties
    Of course we had the usual list of guys in for car theft, pimping, mail theft, murder, manslaughter, assault, burglary, larceny, arson, explosives, drug possession, drug dealing. And me, in for smuggling.
  27. incompetent
    someone who is not qualified to take effective action
    "Bloody incompetent!" Hamilton cursed and drifted onward until the bowsprit speared a metal barge.
  28. paranoid
    suffering from delusions of persecution or grandeur
    Maybe, I thought, all that sitting around on the boat was making me paranoid.
  29. derisive
    expressing contempt or ridicule
    "You always act so guilty," Hamilton said derisively.
  30. cannibal
    a person who eats human flesh
    At one point a large barge nearly brushed up against us and I imagined we would be boarded by cannibals.
  31. bizarre
    conspicuously or grossly unconventional or unusual
    Between delivering the hash around town, I sat around the bizarre lobby at the Chelsea, smoked hash, and updated the ship's log.
  32. psychotic
    characteristic of or suffering from a severe mental disorder
    Plus, the lobby seemed a spiderweb of trapped psychotic poets and artists.
  33. poseur
    a person who habitually pretends to be something he is not
    Which ones were the real artists and which ones were the poseurs?
  34. exotic
    strikingly strange or unusual
    So I sat in the lobby with the ship's log and peered up at everyone exotic who walked through the front door. Then, quickly, I tried to write a few lines describing them.
  35. impressive
    producing a strong effect
    I knew a few writers had lived at the Chelsea. I asked the desk clerk and he had given me a list of names of authors who had either visited or written entire books there: Mark Twain, O. Henry, Theodore Dreiser, Thomas Wolfe, William Burroughs, Allen Ginsberg, Nelson Algren, and Arthur C. Clarke. It was pretty impressive.
  36. seduce
    lure or entice away from duty, principles, or proper conduct
    It was while I was seduced by the big pile of cash that Hamilton chose to ask if I wanted to sail the Beaver to England, where we would take a rest before heading out to wherever we could pick up another ton.
  37. brilliant
    having or marked by unusual and impressive intelligence
    I had recently finished Naked Lunch and wanted to see where Burroughs had been insane, or brilliant, or both.
  38. scuffle
    disorderly fighting
    I was on the second floor landing when I heard a scuffle downstairs by the front desk.
  39. counterfeit
    not genuine; imitating something superior
    They had been tracking down the source of the American counterfeit money that showed up in Morocco, and by coincidence arrived at the Chelsea just seconds after the FBI.
  40. frantic
    excessively agitated; distraught with violent emotion
    My best way out would be through the front door. It was either that or wait for them to come get me. I couldn't wait even if I wanted to. I was too frantic.
Created on Wed Mar 23 13:00:28 EDT 2016 (updated Thu Aug 16 15:24:40 EDT 2018)

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